Learning, learning and ever learning.
In the last few months I have made some serious discoveries about myself.
I realized, (not that I haven’t been told this before…but it’s just now sticking) That I have a tongue that has been referred to at times as a “Ninja Sword”… I thought they were joking..
Now I suppose this is good quality to have..say in Battle..or Politics, but probably…not so much..in “Life” and dealing with your Friends and Loved ones.
I honestly had no idea the ability that I had to totally wreck shop on someone else’s day, and actual “life” with my words.
Sometimes I am so straightforward..it hurts.
I’m this way, because I’m on a serious quest to reveal to myself the deep inner workings of me and what drives my behaviors and actions.
To be able to realize what’s mine..what was “programmed” into me, what works…keep that.. improve upon it..what doesn’t..let it go and replace it with something else that works.
So I am “brutally” honest with myself when I catch myself doing things that are not in line with who I know I am..and what I’m trying to do.
I did not realize that not everyone appreciates, nor desires brutal honesty, or my perceptions.
I really wish that people wouldn’t ask me questions they really dont want the answers to…cause I am still learning how to “adjust” and shorten my answers because as it turns out a lotta times..what I’m saying..is NOT at all what they really want to hear.
I’m not a good liar..
So the next best thing I suppose I can do is practice Silence..and/or limiting my responses…and letting go of the need to be “Right” <<<( Ouch) Brutally honest..with me right there..do you see it???
But I can take that because I know when things "hurt..they instruct" means something needs to change.
Pain is our greatest teacher. The greatest lessons that I have ever learned in my life..all came from pain. Even the simplest things..like "Not touching a hot Stove"…
Hell of a lesson..hurt like hell..but it taught me something…and now..I don't touch hot stoves..
I'm not scared to go Deep. To pull out all those unconscious drivers that sometimes have me acting like a nut..
Because in the end when I truly Face myself and my issues…those things..
NO LONGER HAVE POWER OVER ME.
I don't have to expend time and energy battling myself..trying to keep things hidden from myself. Example..if I have to ask someone else if my ass looks to fat (which in some cases can be a good thing..but anyway) in some jeans..
Chances are its time for me to get my ass Back to the GYM.
This is a concept that works for ME.. not so much for others…as we are all different…and I have GOT to get this concept down..
Because once that tongue is gone…oh boy..it's gone. O.O
So my lesson for the next few weeks is practicing :"Less"
Talking less..giving my opinion less…listening a lot more.
My second lesson is patience…
Now this one has been on the agenda for a while…
It appears that I need to revisit "Patience 101" which directly ties into the lesson mentioned above.
I'll keep you posted on how this goes…